Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Creative Female Artists

I've recently become enamored with those female singers who manage to write and deliver music that is lyrically inspiring, witty, offbeat, and honest.

Ingrid Michaelson is my all time favorite artist since I first heard The Way I Am. I love the heartfelt honesty of her lyrics. She, more than any other artist, seems to put into words the depth of pain and joy that comes with heartbreak, whether of a romantic nature or more generally. My favorites are Overboard, Keep Breathing, and Die Alone, although I adore and appreciate everything I've heard so far.

Kimya Dawson's music is overflowing so thoroughly with quirks that some people find her annoying or unworthy of the notice she's received, especially after the success of Juno. But I love the way she tells stories in the most childish of words and the simplest of chord progressions. Because this simplicity stands in such contrast to her obvious grasp of the span of human experience and pain, her songs become profound, anthems to hope and moving on and appreciating the little things. I especially like I Like Giants.

I've only heard one song from Amber Rubarth so far. But You Will Love This Song is simply charming. Sweet, understated, and a bit juvenile, I can't help but smile when I hear it.

I'm surprised at myself for truly admiring those undiciplined, untrained, and altogether irregular female vocalists because of my own experience as a singer. But they help me realize that music and art are not about classes and pronunciations and correct posture (although these things certainly help), but about expressing what's going on in a style all my own. In a way I hope will reach others and teach them a little about my heart.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Switchfoot = Genius

I've been a fan of Switchfoot since the good ol' days of The Beautiful Letdown. I've been listening to Nothing is Sound in my car recently. And I am struck by the ever eloquent truth presented in their lyrics. Lonely Nation:

She turns like the ocean/She tells no emotion/She's been gunning down the fight/She's just reminiscing/Blood, sweat, and one thing's missing/She's been breaking up inside, inside

Singing without tongues/Screaming without lungs/I want more than my lonely nation/I want more than my lonely nation/Desperate we are young/Seperate we are one/I want more than my desperation/I Want more than my lonely nation

I love the following verse:

We are the target market/We set the corporate target/We are slaves of what we want/We're just not amused/And we're just used to bad news/We are slaves of what we want...

because I think it captures the cry of my generation. We've become burdened by materialistic enterprise and the longing for acceptance. We're surrounded by emptiness masquerading as the joys and comforts of life. We're corrupted by darkness masquerading as light. And we feel powerless to escape.

I work at Blockbuster and I see it every day. Grown adults throw the best temper tantrums. We've become desensitized to anything but fulfilling our desires, or rather, the desires advertising agencies have suggested that we pursue. I feel like we're standing on the edge of a great chasm. And if people don't reawaken to community and humility and respect soon, we're all going down. We are desperate underneath forced social etiquette and painted smiles.

Separate, we are one. We don't let people in. We hide behind texts, emails, blaring music, even blogs. But happiness is only real when shared. People need people.

So read 2 Corinthians 11. Read Ephesians. Watch Lars and the Real Girl. Listen to Switchfoot. And, after realizing the depth of God's extraordinary, unearthly love, have the courage to love others. Listen and let them in. Refuse to believe Satan when he masquerades as truth. Because the world does not know truth; the truth is in God's spirit. Read John, too.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Joy and Promise

I am refreshed. I look forward to tomorrow and see the present with great quanitities of joy and promise. I have hope. I have faith.

I know a fraction of God's restorative, intense, selfless, uncalled for love. A love that opens me up to see how I love others.

Lord, let me see the depth of my sin and smile all the more by understanding how much farther your love expands.

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge— that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." - Ephesians 3:17-19

Friday, July 18, 2008

Oh how he LOVES us

I was admittedly a little skeptical my first week of studying Song of Solomon from the persective of Christ as the lover and His people as the Beloved. The text is so intimate and metaphorical that I initially had a difficult time seeing God through it's scope and symbolism. Five verses into it now, and I am hooked.

We can't be selfish in our outlooks or in our faith. But I've been so focused on fulfilling a duty that I forgot to work on a relationship with the God I profess to follow. I need to know, in the depth of my heart, in the forefront of my mind, in the entirety of my spirit, that God loves me. That he loved me before I made mistakes, in full knowledge that I would commit treacherous acts in my heart and in my actions. And He loves me through them and after them. He LOVES. He loves me. And he loves you. And He'll go on doing so.

"Dark am I, yet lovely." It's about realizing the blackness of my heart, the imperfection of my humanity, and understanding that I am absolutely lovely still. And I have to live as one who believes in my loveliness, however flawed. To understand the love of God, to truly grasp it, is the key to loving others, it's the key to eternal life, to "know Christ."

It's been nearly three months since freshman year came to a close and finally I feel hope bubbling underneath my skin. I trust God. I trust Him because I KNOW he LOVES me.

"Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." - Psalm 27:14

http://youtube.com/watch?v=JoC1ec-lYps

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Lars and the Real Girl

Lars and the Real Girl is one of the most unusually and unexpectedly beautiful films I have ever seen. It reveals the beauty and hope and sincerity in life's most seemingly desperate individuals. In helping those we find absurd or peculiar. In loving others unconditionally. In finding the humor in the desperation and disconnect life inevitably presents.

Lars is the type of person I feel for, the character I yearn to help. I want to help people. I want to see the tremendous ways in which people can become better, enjoy life, see hope, and establish meaningful relationships.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Photographs

Motives

Lately, I've been reading a blog called The Search (the link is on my blog list) by this guy who's written for Relevant magazine.

I was particularly struck by his commentary on Christian Hipster culture. It's ridiculous that churches and individuals within the church feel that they must live up to some visual standard of "cool" to disguise the perceived un-hipness of Christianity in modern culture. I know this, I feel this, I scowl and shake my head. But where do my motives lie?

Because I want people to think I'm cool. I listen to obscure bands, blog, splatter paint, and read murder mysteries. I rely on my quirkiness to attract others to me. It's not that I choose my hobbies to suit others' tastes, because I truly enjoy the things I do. But at the same time, I market myself and my interests out of selfish, compliment-seeking motives.

Maybe it's the pervasive social networking culture. We've been so brainwashed into typing and retyping lists of our hobbies, interests, activities, and quirks that we think that these things define us. And that mindset has gone so far as to mar our understanding of Christianity. Subconsciously we think that Christ can't draw people to him on His own and that the fruits of the Spirit aren't enough. We've got to market ourselves. We've got to provide a hip facade or people won't like Christians. In reality though, it seems far more likely that the facade is becoming more important than the matter underneath.

A few months ago, I was passionate about starting a house church, singing songs to acoustic strums, living like a hippie. Because I thought this was spiritual awakening. But what I question now is whether I was just immersed in the concept of making my brand of Christianity cool. I do feel like the church, at least as it stands in my neck of the woods, is weak, hidebound in a pattern of awkward and ineffective traditions and convictions. But real change can't happen if it's done in an effort to be marketable. Like the blog says in it's conclusion, maybe Christianity has stood the test of time because it's not cool. Because it's authentic.

And maybe Christians draw people to them simply by being authentic themselves.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Adventures

Goals.

1. Study abroad Summer '09
2. Go on a road trip around the country
3. Go camping in the Smoky Mts. Spring Break '09
4. Live in Germany
5. Visit Paris and small villages in France
6. Learn French, Hebrew, and German
7. Visit every major art museum
8. Go to Alaska
9. Swim with dolphins
10. See Ingrid Michaelson, Jon McLaughlin, and Switchfoot live
11. Volunteer at a soup kitchen
12. Donate to a charity
13. Never borrow money from the bank
14. Sing at a wedding
15. Love people
16. Be in a local theatrical production
17. Learn an instrument well
18. Start a church
19. Write a book
20. Be a part of a selfless relationship

Into the Wilderness of Today

"They were sitting/They were sitting on the strawberry swing/Every moment was so precious ... People moving all the time/Inside a perfectly straight line/Don't you wanna curve away?/When it's such/It's such a perfect day/It's such a perfect day." (Coldplay)

"To the desert go prophets and hermits; through deserts go pilgrims and exiles. Here the leaders of the great religions have sought the therapeutic and spiritual values of retreat, not to escape but to find reality." (Paul Shepherd, Man in the Landscape)

"No man ever followed his genius till it misled him. Though the result were bodily weakness, yet perhaps no one can say that the consequences were to be regretted, for these were a life in conformity to higher principles. If the day and the night are such that you greet them with joy, and life emits a frangrance like flowers and sweet-scented herbs, is more elastic, is more starry, more immortal, - that is your success. All nature is your congratulation, and you have cause momentarily to bless yourself. The greatest gains and values are farthest from being appreciated. We easily come to doubt if they exist. We soon forget them. They are the highest reality. ... The true harvest of my daily life is somewhat as intangible and indescribable as the tints of the morning and evening. It is a little star-dust caught, a segment of the rainbow which I have clutched." (Henry David Thoreau, Walden, or Life in the Woods)

Monday, July 7, 2008

Modern Nature

Oh, what a world this life would be/Forget all your technicolour dreams/Forget modern nature/This is how it´s meant to be. (Modern Nature, Sondre Lerche)

Just finished reading The Diving Bell and the Butterfly. What hope and simple eloquence Jean-Dominique Bauby managed to grace his readers with in spite of locked-in syndrome, a condition that essentially trapped his healthy brain in a paralyzed, decaying body. He wrote by painstakingly blinking his left eye, spelling out words with a special alphabet.

There is such joy in simplicity, in valuing the most simple and mundane events. Driving down a road. Coincidences. A smile or laughter among friends and strangers alike. Fragments of the thread of life that connect humanity in all its frivolous drama. Things that encourage us to fly by grounding us in the poetry of reality.

Yesterday at church I went to the alter. But words failed me, no understandable ideas were forming. Only a yearning. And after searching through Psalms for the phrase "One thing I ask," I found Psalm 27 this morning:

One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life...

Dwell. I desire ONE thing alone, to dwell with God. Not work, speak, sing, praise, act, stress, agonize, laugh, or weep. Dwell. That word connotes contentment, peace, an inner joy not found in any frantic action or confused pondering. My desire is to do for God by dwelling with Him. That closeness. If that is the yearning of the deepest part of myself, it is no wonder I am discontent apart from Him.

I don't understand. I don't get it. But I must dwell. Live life. Cherish every tear, whether born of laughter or of grief. Because I dwell with Him, I see His beauty radiate in the literary genre that is the human experience.

Oh the glory of friendship

There is no feeling that matches that of being the object of a giant group hug you've earned for just for being alive, glasses pressing against your face, a tangle of arms sprawled in all directions.

At the New Way concert last night, I fully expected to burst into tears, to miss the singing, the worship experience, even the work. But I discovered, to my surprise, that I missed nothing of the framework of New Way. I just missed the people. I adore them, respect them, and want so much to encourage them. The capacity we have to care for one another after less than three weeks of day to day contact and over a span of an entire year is profound. God blessed me immensely by leading me to such intelligent, funny, Christ-like, and immensely talented individuals.

So what I yearn for is not New Way so much as the ability to spend time with the 11 remaining members of New Way 2007.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Photography

Views from Downtown
Tallahassee
Deland
St. Augustine