Spontaneous Poetry (among other things)

The past few months
have carried with
them burdens,
those regrets and weaknesses and
mistakes and
character flaws,
ignored for so long
beneath a facade of progress.

The past few months
she trained her hardest
lifting weights
exercising limp muscle tissue because
she knew it was time,
time to struggle
in order to
toss broken and mildewed,
torn and stained,
burdens aside.

The past few months
were the truest progress
because that sharp knife of
vulnerability exposes the heart of one
more than meditation,
more than confession,
more than psychosis,
although these methods, in their own way,
were not a far stretch from
her emotional soul.

The past few months
brought poetry and music and love
and living
into a life stagnated by
oppression, depression,
obsession for things that
stifled her from living most freely,
most in the center of her desires,
most centered in God,
in his love and relationship
and stability.


The past few months
were meaningful, glorious, wrenching, torturous
the clearest instance
of fractured radiiance,
the beauty in the broken,
the necessity of feeling to really
live, to really grow.
And she will treasure those moments of
peace, kiss with joy those moments
that taught her.

The past few months,
like a blow to the lungs,
left her breathless, knocked her down
But the very life of God, of restoration,
replaced the stale
air of her regrets.
And she cannot wait to cherish
these next few months...

I'm actually way excited I just wrote that spontaneously.

I'm not sure what happened to hinder my timely update of this blog. Poetic technique exercises came to a near halt and my other classes demanded papers and homework and time-consuming study. But I'm still glad I have this thing. And I have really rather enjoyed this semester. My life has changed so unexpectedly. But I guess that's the joy of living, of letting God urge me where he wishes. I am so thankful for every experience and every struggle. It's been one of the most emotionally draining times in my life. But I like feeling; I like that the ice has melted and that my heart is no longer confined by apathy or bitterness. There are things I could have done better, people I could have loved better. But God is awesome. And my teachers have been awesome. And my classes and friends and boyfriend and family have been intriguing and helpful and loving. And I can't wait to wake up tomorrow because I know it holds promise and hope and a chance for more joy.