Everything's Changin'

This past week bears the marks of transition, the growing pains of change. A week without Tuesday Bible study. My last day of work. The last week before one of my best friends headed back to school. And a mini reunion that ended, as all reunions do, with separation and the dull ache of loneliness.

I feel as if I've finally settled back into existence and accepted my life in Jacksonville. I learned to love my coworkers at Blockbuster. I met new people that have become my friends. I've delved into Song of Solomon with the help of God and tremendous spiritual mentors, beautiful men and women of God. I've changed and learned and recovered. I've come to understand so much darkness, but also loveliness. I like where I am in so many ways that leaving it all behind indefinitely feels like a loss and, to some degree, a cop out. But I know (and anticipate) that there will be joys and laughter and pain in Tallahassee that will shape me further. Things that will shake me, stir me, revive me. And I look forward to a time to meet with those friends I've missed this summer.

At the beginning of the summer, God provided encouragement in the form of a verse in John:

Jesus answered, "But a time is coming, and has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me." (Jn 16:32)

College is a transitory period. Nowhere seems quite like home. We are scattered from community and companionship. And we will feel alone. We will yearn for those from which we are separated. But we are not alone. God is with us. God is WITH us. And, when all else fails, when everything's changing, we can know that companionship. We can praise Him in the sorrow, the boredom and confusion, for the tiniest of daily joys.

When we feel the coldness and shame of distance from God's enveloping love and from His awe-inspiring power, we must follow his sheep. We must aim for wisdom and friendship that exposes, rebukes, hopes, and supports.

Beloved: "Tell me, you whom I love, where you graze your flock and where you rest your sheep at midday. Why should I be like a veiled woman beside the flocks of your friends?"

Lover: "If you do not know, most beautiful of women, follow the tracks of the sheep and graze your young goats by the tents of the shepherds." - (Song of Solomon 1:7-8)