I just found something I'd written on November 16, 2006 about a previous journal entry. I literally said "Wow!" when I read it. It's always strange to look back on my thoughts, separated by this chasm of time:
Life. It changes you. Look back at 1-1-06. The girl who wrote that is hiding somewhere, I'm just not sure how to get her back. Am I supposed to seek that innocence? I think so. When the world hardens you - when you toughen up to avoid breaking down - something joyous gets pushed back and forgotten. That child-like naivete, the complete faith in Jesus, in his love intangible but so apparent. Am I wiser than I was on January 1, 2006? I hope so. Am I more aware of my role in this world? Hopefully. Bu am I living each day with the happiness of a child in my heart? I long for it. I asked for growth. In many ways, I have been stretched. But just because I am altered does not give me the excuse to scorn the pain and frustration I've undergone. I've learned to endure, when everything is collapsing, endure. This race has some huge mountains to cross, believe me. But my adrenaline's pumping, my heart is still beating, I am alive and living for Christ. I proclaim this for His glory!
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